


How Cas Got His Soul

by Sammynughh



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Castiel In Love, Dean In Love, M/M, POV Castiel, POV Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-09 03:09:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11095635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammynughh/pseuds/Sammynughh
Summary: WARNING: MATURE AUDIENCESAngst, Fluff & SmutTHIS IS DESTIELSWITCHES BETWEEN CASTIEL AND DEAN POV.Summary: Starts with Season 12, Episode 22/23. Cas has seen what will happen. He's a bit scared, but it's not about what he's got to do. It's about his feelings for Dean. It's also about the nephilim about to be born. Cas knows things are going to change and he's not sure he will be able to handle it.Dean has no idea why Cas is acting like he is. He's not the same angel he's known and loved all these years. Why? Dean's determined to find out.





	1. Confession of Love

[Switches between **DEAN** and **CASTIEL** POV]

 

**DEAN**

Trapped in the bunker for hours now. Sam and I have been trying to think of a way out.

For some reason, my mind keeps wandering back to why Cas would so blindly believe the nephilim is good? Why he would at one moment believe with all certainty it must die. So much so, that he betrayed me and stole the Colt.

I should have given up on understanding that angel years ago. Thing is, I care a lot about him. I worry about him.

Sam talked to me when Cas went into the water and Leviathan came out, but Cas never did. Sam said, "Cas isn't human and we need to stop expecting human behavior from him. He's an angel. We have no clue how they are suppose to think, behave or react to things around them. Especially changes they don't like. Cas made decisions we couldn't control and never had the option to control." That was a hard pill for me to swallow.

Ever since Cas started saving me in tough situations, especially when I call him through prayer, I've felt like I meant something more to him. Like I wasn't just another human on this huge blue marble begging for God's attention. Now, it's starting to look like I was wrong. Cas doesn't return my calls or come when I pray needing his help.

Worse yet, Chuck is ignoring me again too. Even though I'm suppose to be his champion in this fight against Lucifer. That's fine, too. John Winchester taught me and Sam how to tough it without him. We can tough this without Chuck... Or Cas.

~~~~~~~~~~

**CASTIEL**

Helping Kelly prepare for the nephilim's birth has helped me take my mind off of what I know will be difficult for us all. She won't be here after Jack's birth.

That's his name. Jack.

She's upset she won't see so many things about his life. I've seen quite a bit. I don't want to frighten her any more than she already is.

I've seen a bit about my own life that has me scared. It's got me in a somber mood. I try my best to not let any human emotions take hold at all. I'm usually successful. Until I think about Dean or he thinks to loudly about me.

Right this minute he's trapped in the bunker with Sam and cursing at me quite proficently. I know for fact he, Sam and Mary will be here in the near future. I saw it. I saw some other things too.

"Cas? Are you alright?" Kelly looks worried.

I put on my best smile and comfort her. My hand rubs over her back. "I assure you everything's fine. Just relax. Stress isn't good for you or Jack."

She nods. "C-could you please continue rubbing my back? It really hurts." She gives a timid smile.

I nod and massage her lower back like on the lamaze videos I watched. I absorbed as much info as I could on human birthing. Nothing could be found on nephilim birthing. Not even lore. That's good. Kelly's scared enough.

I learned my lesson on rushing to judgment with beings I know little about.

I led a garrison to kill Akobel for breeding with a human. Nephilim are absolutely forbidden. In Akobel's case, it was a lie told by Ishim to hurt Lily Sunder by killing her human daughter, May. Akobel was only a friend to Lily.

Ishim, was also an angel in my garrison. He was so full of vengeance that he almost got Sam, Dean and himself killed trying to protect himself from Lily Sunder. Lily gained enough powers that she could kill angels using Enochian magic. Each time killing off a piece of her own soul.

She killed Ishim. I still feel sick over it. I told her she could find me if she needed her vengeance. I let her go.

Anyway...

That and killing Jane, the waitress from Colorado Springs. She was the one and only nephilim, I know of, to have been born in hundreds of years. She seemed like a good person. She knew who Metatron and I were as soon as we sat down. She never once threatened us. I returned her kindness by killing her. That's how I see it, because I know Metatron just needed her dead for his spell to cast all angels out of heaven.

"Mmm. That's good, Cas. My back feels better now. You can stop. Thank you." Kelly smiles.

Before I can move my hand, I feel something. A surge of energy from Kelly's body. It's Jack. He's assuring me that I did nothing wrong. I was fooled by liars. He won't ever lie to me. He's also comforting me knowing what I must do.

I move my hand and stand up. "I'm going to take a walk around outside. If you need anything, just say my name. I'll hear you. I'm listening." She nods and I leave the house.

I walk along the coast that's right by the house. My thoughts are everywhere. I stare out into the body of water for peace. North Cove, Washington is peaceful this time of year.

~~~~~~~~~~

**DEAN**

It took a lot, but our family is together and safe. Then Sam gives us the bad news. Lucifer's still out and Crowley is to blame.

I would have killed Crowley if we didn't need him to lock Lucifer back up once we caught him. Only thing is, how do we lock him back up?

Sam got behind the demon and slapped demon cuffs on him. We chained him to the eyebolt welded on to the metal pillar in our library. I was going to leave him there, but decided to bring him with us.

It's 1,718 miles from Lebanon, KS to New Cove, WA. That's a day and a half to get there.

Sam has the most ingenious idea of using magic.

I use Crowley to flash to the house and scope out the road. We find the exact coordinates. We return and give the info to Sam.

We get into Baby, the Impala. Sam's in the back, mom's up front with me. It's good to see mom laugh again. Yes, Crowley's once again the junk in my trunk.

Sam does the spell from the back seat. One moment we're in the garage, the next we're on a deserted road that leads to the house Cas and Kelly are in.

As we pull up, I find that I'm nervous. Cas is so determined to do this HIS way. I hope we can talk some sense into him.

The three of us exit the car. I know Lucifer will show at any time. Crowley might be useful. I get him from the trunk. He keeps the cuffs on for now.

We go inside and Kelly is giving birth. Well, that's just great!

~~~~~~~~~~

**CASTIEL**

Dean's here! That's... I don't know how to feel. I'm exhilarated. He looks into my eyes and I have to advert mine. Usually I'm quite calm and able to keep my emotions at bay.

Dean tells me to get Kelly and let's go. Kelly's already in labor. Her scream emphasises what I was about to say. Mary runs to her aid.

Dean grabs my coat by the collar. "We need to talk. NOW!"

I follow him outside. Sam stays in the house.

Dean pushes me up against the side of the house. Fists in my coat collars. "What is it with you?! You take off and don't return my calls. You're protecting Kelly like this is your child. I need to understand Cas!"

His green eyes bear down on mine with such heat. So much anger and frustration. There's also love.

My thoughts are validated when I place my hand on the back of his neck. My eyes close as I pull him toward me into my arms.

I had no idea how much I needed his comfort until that moment.

"Cas, you're trembling. What is it you're not telling me?" Now Dean's become deeply concerned about me. Scared even.

I'm not able to control how I feel. Time's of the essence. I pull back just enough to look into Dean's face. My hand moves from his neck to his cheek. "Dean, I love you. I have for years." I swallow finding my mouth is dry. "You have 886,491 freckles on your face. I've counted them. Just as I know every other detail about you. I'd do anything for you and give anything to you I possibly can."

Dean is concentrating on every word I'm saying. Suddenly his lips are on mine. A deep heated kiss. He's pulling me from the wall, up against him. My hand is in his hair now. My other hand gripping his jacket from behind. The taste of him intoxicates me so much, I flash us to the backseat of his car.

He laughs at the location I chose for seclusion. His laughter does something to me. "I love you too Cas. More than you know. More than I even like to admit." He buries his face into my neck. While removing my coat.

I press my lips to his temple. "I'm yours. Forever yours, Dean." I hear his heart racing. It's beautiful.

He removes my tie and unbuttons my shirt. His lips move from my neck to my chest. He pushes me against the closed inside door and lays on top of me. His lips are perfectly soft. His tongue moves over mine and sends chills down my spine. The feelings I have for him seem to increase as he increasingly validates our love with his actions.

I'm able to remove his shirt and he shivers in my arms. "Are you cold?"

He smiles and it pierces my heart. "No. Far from it." He kisses me. "I've never gone this far with a guy before." He rests his head on my chest. I can tell he's breathing me in.

I hold his head to my chest. Caressing him. "Nor have I, but I know you're all I want or need. We're not bound by time right now. No one's looking for us. This is our time. Just me, you and your car "Baby". Show me how much you love me."

Dean takes over from here. Every kiss is either tender and sweet or hungry and desperate. Really no inbetween.

Our clothes soon fall to the wayside and Dean is making me feel pleasure in a way I've never dreamed imaginable. He shows me how to give him pleasure. The first time I see him look at me and climax, because of my touch, I climax right after. I'm so light headed and elated to actually be with the man I love.

We kiss and hold each other. Soon, Dean is making love to me again. This time, he uses his mouth. It feels so much better than his hand. Much more intimate too. Dean is making love to me. I insist on changing positions.

~~~~~~~~~~

**DEAN**

I couldn't believe it when Cas told me he loved me the same way I loved him. He was so afraid of saying the wrong thing, he was shaking. Who could blame him?

He's the first guy I've given my heart to. I'd say man, but he's not. I'm painfully aware of this when I'm sucking his very large cock. I'm not sure if it's an angel thing or if Jimmy Novak was truly a blessed man, but 10 inches is a lot for anyone to try and swallow. He has girth as well.

My jaw aches and my throat hurts from trying to swallow his thickness. It's worth it though. The pleasure on his face. The sounds I pull from his lips. His fast breathing and gasping my name. Feeling his heart pounding under my palm. His back arches as he yells my name and cum releases all over his chest and my "Baby's" leather seat.

"Oh. Fuck Cas! That was so hot!" I kiss him. He looks concerned. I'm afraid I hurt him. "What is it?" My fingers in his hair.

"I'm sorry I got some on your car's seat." He looks at me like he slashed my tire.

I use my boxers to clean the cum off the car's seat and his chest. "See, it cleans right up." I drop my shorts to the floorboard as he starts stroking my length.

"What would it feel like for you to be inside me?" Cas has that look of curiosity, but cloaked in love. It's adorable and sexy at the same time. He also hasn't stopped stroking my dick. His words have caused my cock to harden even more in his hand.

I moan before I reply, "I imagine it would hurt at first. As I said, I've never been with a guy before, but I've experienced anal with women. It can be quite... fuck Cas." I gasp and grab his hand from my cock. "I'm close. You gotta stop that." I kiss him and make sure he understands I'm not rejecting him. I want him so badly.

He kisses back and forces me down into the seat. His tongue invading my mouth. His hands in my hair, elbows in the seat, chest against my bare chest and my hands gripping his ass. He grinds his cock into my hip. He pants, "I've seen movies." He gets a bit bashful, "Like the pizza man, but the one I saw was a limo driver and a rock star." He nips at my earlobe. "You could be the rock star." He's breathing heavy and so am I. "I think I'd really enjoy being inside you. I'll be gentle."

He reaches between my ass cheeks and I grab his hand. "Hold on a sec." I have him sit up long enough for me to slide over the seat and reach into the glove box. I grab the stashed bottle of lube and return to my former spot in the back seat.

I give the lube to Cas. "Use this." He thinks a moment then nods in understanding. Like he was reviewing videos in his mind until he saw what one used lube and gathered that memory. I kiss him. "There are times I find you absolutely amazing. Your mind works in a way I'll never fully understand, but that's okay. It's what makes you who you are." My hand keeps touching his feather soft hair.

He lubes me and slides a finger inside. He strokes my cock while working my ass. He adds another finger. I moan. He can tell that I like it. He keeps going. Move back and forth. A little faster. He opens his fingers some and I feel him touch something inside of me that has me wanting more. Now, he adds a third finger and I grip his arm that he's stoking my dick with. I'm gasping. "Cas. Now. Do it now."

The way he's looking at me has my heart racing just as much as what he's doing to me. He lubes his very large cock and slowly presses it inside me. I rub a spot right by the head of my dick that is very sensitive. It feels so good as he stretches my ass out. The mix of pleasure and pain are perfect together. He looks into my hooded gaze. "Are you okay Dean. Am I hurting you?" His facial expression changed from bliss to concern in seconds.

I wrap my legs on top of his back. One hand grips his lower back and my other hand has him by the nape of his neck. "Don't stop. I want all of you Cas. All of you."

He kisses me with a soul searing kiss as his hips become flush with my body. My heels press into his ass holding him in place. I don't want this moment to ever end. We're one. Complete and whole.

He starts slowly moving his hips back and forth. I can't breathe. The pleasure is more than I expected. He's kissing me all over. My jaw, neck, lips and side of my face as I gasp for air.

"Breathe Dean." His hands are on my chest now. "That's it. Deep breaths." He moves fast as my breathing improves. He picks up my very hard cock and it feels so good. I kiss him and then look into his eyes. They have a faint blue glow. I pant out, "My angel. You're glowing. Am I making you glow?"

He kisses me with a smile. He moans into our kiss. His thrusts are faster. "You do a lot of things to me Dean." He sits up and grips my hips. "Making me glow is nothing compared to what I'm feeling here." He touches his chest.

He thrusts with determination. So hard and deep. I arch my back and my shoulders are pressing into the leather of Baby's seat. "I love you so much Cas." My feelings are so intense and it's not just physical. My emotions are right at the surface. Cas has managed to peel away all my layers of defense and I'm before him now as raw and vulnerable as can be.

Cas looks at me with his blue eyes on fire as he makes love to me. "I'm in love with you Dean. I'll never stop loving you. It's not in me to ever want to stop." He then shudders as he thrusts and climaxes deep inside of me. "Oh Dean!!" He gasps for air. I swear I saw his wings flutter. It's a small car for big angel wings.

The sight of my Cas coming undone above me is all it takes for me to cum. "Cas! Oh fuck!" My cock starts shooting streams of cum over my chest. I grab it and stoke out 6 more shots from my dick. "Oh shit." My orgasm is very intense with Cas' cock still inside me, throbbing.

He collapses onto my chest and we hold each other for what seems like forever. He slides out of me and so does his jizz. That feels weird, but I'm too happy about holding Cas in my arms. "I love you so much Cas. I can't stop thinking about how much I love you and want to always be near you."

Cas isn't talking. He seems upset. "What is it? Tell me. You can tell me anything."

Cas looks at me with tear filled eyes. "No Dean. There are some things you can't know until later. It hurts my heart. Just know I love you so much. So very very much. I'd do anything to make sure you're safe." He kisses me as I wipe his tears away. His tears actually absorb into my skin and make me feel better. How strange.

I grip him tight. His head against my shoulder. "Whatever it is, just know I love you and we'll get through whatever may come together."

I open my eyes and Cas is pulling back from my embrace. We are against the wall on the side of the house. Both of us fully dressed. It's as if we never left this spot. I can sense something's coming. Something I won't like.


	2. Angel With a Soul

**CASTIEL**

I place my hand on Dean's cheek. He rests his head against my hand and closes his eyes. "I'm ready Cas. Whatever comes our way, I'm ready. I know you love me and that's enough."

One last embrace. One last kiss. With the kiss I steal away his memory of our time together in his car. I leave him with only this moment. This embrace. This confession of love. He passes out in my arms. I go to my knees with him and hold him till he awakens. "Cas?"

I help him sit up. "You got light headed and fainted, I guess. I had no idea kissing me would be so dramatic."

He punches my shoulder. His punch doesn't hurt, typically. "What was that Cas? Why does my head hurt?" He's holding his head.

I touch his head and remove the pain. I also heal his backside. I'm not sure if he's been aware of that pain or not.

"Thanks. Now tell me." He's determined.

Suddenly we hear Sam yell, "DEAN!!!"

We run to his voice and find Lucifer standing at the front of the house. I pull my angel blade, but my big bully brother just tosses me aside.

Sam runs for the tear in our world caused by Jack's birth. Dean follows Sam. Sam explains to Dean about a plan.

I know about the plan. I go check on Kelly. She and Mary are holding hands as Kelly pushes through her labor. She's dying as Jack is being born. I leave them and head for the tear in the worlds.

I step through the tear and find Dean beaten, Crowley dead and Lucifer about to attack the Winchester brothers. I heal Dean and then I go and attempt to fight my brother again. I hear Dean yell my name as a plea. It pierces my heart deeply. I want to run to Dean and tell him I'll be okay. Instead I fight Lucifer. Stall him in the hope the tear will close.

The brothers get home okay. I think I have it timed just right. I exit the tear just in time. All 3 winchesters are there when I feel it hit me. The moment I saw coming. This is how it had to be. The last thing I heard was Dean crying out my name yet again. This time in agony. My heart cried out his name as I died.

~~~~~~~~~~

**DEAN**

"Cas! No!!!" I watch as the angel blade was pushed clear through his back and came out the front of his chest. The bright white blue glow of his essence bursting out from every part of his body as he died. The shocked horror on his face. It will haunt me forever.

My angel..my love is dead.

Suddenly another angel is in front of us. Lucifer. He's ready to kill us all. He wants his son.

Mom decides to become the protector she always knew she was. She attacks Lucifer with anti-angel brass knuckles. She knocks the shit out of him, forcing him back through the tear, but the Sonofabitch grabs her arm on his way through and she goes in with him.

We weren't able to grab her in time. As soon as she went through with Lucifer, the tear closed. The tear vanishes and she's gone!

I looked at Cas on the ground. His Angel wings burned out at his sides. It's not right. I look up to the sky. Where is Chuck in all of this. He complains about rebuilding Cas and how we keep fucking up, but where is He? Chuck has the power to stop Lucifer. Why doesn't he? Does he like this? Watching Lucifer destroy his creation and causing so much pain. How can he just sit and watch?

I fall to my knees and then lay down with my arm around Cas. My head on his shoulder as I softly cry. "Stupid angel. I remember. You tried to make me forget. Fuck you for that, but I understand why. You knew. I get it. What you don't get and could never understand is that we humans need our memories to keep you alive when you're gone. The memories we made in our hidden time will last me a lifetime Cas. I just pray that you're not gone for good. Maybe, just maybe, Chuck will bring you back to me yet again. You're more than a warrior to me. Much more. You've done more than place your mark on my shoulder when you dragged me from hell. You've placed a permanent mark on my heart with your love. I need you Cas. Please come back to me." I'm touching his lips and face that are already so cold.

Sam is standing there. "Um, Dean. I think someone wants to pay his respects."

I look up with tears in my eyes. There's a man standing next to Sam. He's holding Sam's hand. He's got glowing golden eyes.

Sam looks at me. His facial expression is telling me to stay calm. So, I remain calm. "This is Jack. He's shy. He wants to see Cas."

I get up and slowly walk to the other side of Sam.

Jack keeps his head down. He slowly moves from behind Sam and heads to sit beside Cas' body. He touches his hair and picks up his hand. He lets his hand go and it falls. Jack turns his head toward Sam, confused.

Sam comes closer. "Cas is dead." Jack still seems to not understand.

Sam goes to Cas and lifts him up to show Jack the stab wound in Cas' back. He let's Jack touch it. Jack gets blood on his fingers. He tastes it. He soon understands. Cas is dead. Sam is crying as he holds Cas. Jack touches Sam on the back of his head and feels Sam's pain. He might even understand why Sam loves Cas and misses him.

Jack starts crying. He understands something. He motions that he wants to hold Cas. Sam gives Cas to Jack. Jack cries. Tears drop onto Cas' cheek and suddenly a golden glow runs through Cas. His body starts glowing from every part golden yellow. Jack touches Cas on the forehead and suddenly he opens his eyes and gasps for air. Cas whispers, "Jack."

Jack smiles and kisses his cheek. He hugs Cas tightly. Cas hugs him back. Jack speaks his first word very clearly, "Father."

I look at Sam in shock. Jack thinks Cas is his dad. Okay. We can work with that.

Cas is about to correct Jack. I get Cas' attention and shake my head. I mouth, "Later." He nods.

Cas brushes Jack's tears away and kisses his cheek. "Let's go inside and get you dressed. You must be cold." He looks at Cas with some confusion, but he gets up and Cas gets up.

I can't help it. I walk into Cas' arms and give him a chaste kiss then hug him tightly. "Don't ever do that again. Don't try to make me forget and don't die." I whisper in his ear, "I love you so much."

He just nods and kisses my cheek. "Okay Dean." His eyes tell me he loves me.

We will have alone time again. Until then, I will be patient.

He asks about Mary and Lucifer. I explain as we go into the house. Cas vows to help find a way to get her back into our world.

Cas will work with Jack. He's most likely the answer to solving our other worldly problem.

Sam asks, "What do we feed Jack?"

Cas touches Jack's head. "He's craving raw meat. I see blood. He has jagged teeth. He's human, but he's half demonic angel. Raw steak and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That's my suggestion."

I go with Sam and watch as he looks through the fridge and finds a lot of meat in the crisper.

We can't talk in the house, Jack can hear. I write a note to Sam on a dry erase board, "Do you think he can save mom?"

Sam finishes cuting up a steak into cubes. Then washes his hands. He grabs the marker and replies, "No. I don't think he will know how to open that tear again. That was an accident. We will have..." he erases the board and starts again after I read what he wrote. (Small board.) "...to find a spell from the bunker or some other way."

Sam leaves the meat raw, but warms it a few seconds. He makes the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and cuts the crust off.

I tease Sammy, "You're good at that. You sure you don't want a rug rat of your own?" He flips me the bird. I laugh.

He pours a cup of water in a sippy cup. We walk back upstairs and give the food and cup to Jack. He devours the steak. Figures out how to drink from the cup. He tries the sandwich, but only eats a few bites.

Jack's in an adult diaper that Cas thought ahead to buy. He thought Jack might suddenly become full grown. He wasn't 100% sure though. He didn't want to frighten Kelly either, so he hid a lot of what Jack might need from her. At least that's my thinking.

Jack goes to the room he was born in and sits next to his mother. Sam and I stand at the doorway watching as Cas sits with Jack.

Cas explains to Jack, "Her name was Kelly. She loved you very much. She's in heaven now." Jack tilts his head confused. Cas tries to explain, "Heaven. Um. When people die, they go to heaven with the angels."

Jack touches Cas' head and gains understanding. He's sad. His voice trembles as he speaks, "Mother." Jack touches her, but nothing happens. Either he's letting her stay in heaven or his powers can't bring her back. He cries and Cas comforts him.

Jack yawns as Cas rocks him. Cas touches Kelly's body and it is sent away. Cas then has the bedding changed using his powers. He then has Jack lay down in the bed and covers him up. "Get some sleep Jack. I'll be here when you wake up." Jack curls up and falls asleep.

Once Cas knows he's asleep, he leads me and Sam to the living room. We find Kelly's body on the sofa. Cas touches my arm and looks me in the eyes. "She needs to be salted and burned."

I nod knowing that her body is susceptible to demon possession and that would be horrible for Jack. Sam helps me take her to the coastal area. We build a pyre and set her on top after we have salted and wrapped her up. Sam sets her ablaze. He stays with her burning corpse while I go talk with Cas.

Cas flashes he and myself to my bedroom at the bunker. I push Cas against the wall and kiss him aggressively. I'm gripping his hair and pressing my body into him. I'm just so grateful he's alive.

I close my eyes and bury my face against his chest. Suddenly we're naked and I'm on top of him in bed. I'm kissing and nipping at his chest and neck.

Cas grabs hold of me and I seem to be losing control of my emotions. "Cas. Oh god Cas. Please tell me you're okay. Please say you'll never die again. Promise me!"

He's gripping me so tight it hurts. "Dean. Dean, I'm fine. I knew this would happen and I knew we would be okay. Please calm down." He holds me and waits for my breathing to slow down.

He kisses me and looks into my eyes. I touch his face and can't believe we're actually here. Together.

Cas smiles. He thumbs over my brow. "I'm so happy you're okay. When I died, my biggest fear was not being able to protect you. I knew you'd be alive when I returned. I saw that in the vision Jack gave me. He took that fear away from me. I just didn't know if you'd be injured or not." He leans up and kisses me. It's soft and lingering.

I have a mischievous grin. "We're lost in time again, right? Just like we were in the Impala?"

Cas nods as he pushes me to my side so he can brush kisses over my neck and shoulders. His hands roam over my back, ribs and hips down to my ass. He's got me so hard. "I'm sorry for trying to make you forget. I was trying to spare you some pain. I see that my attempts were futile." He brushes his lips over my temple, jaw and hovers over my lips. "I love you." He kisses me while moving his hands over me.

I moan at how good his hands feel on my body. "I'm going to make love to you all over this bunker Cas." I get out of bed and grab the lube from my nightstand.

I take Cas' hand and lead him to the war room. I climb up on the table and lay back. My cock is straining as it pulses against my lower abdomen. Cas watches as I lube my fingers, lift my legs and start fingering my hole.

He has a wicked grin as he leans against a pillar and watches me stretch myself open for him. I gasp at how he's looking at me with his brilliant blue, lust filled eyes. He keeps his arms crossed as his cock stands firm and leaks precum. A long string of precum falls from the tip of his dick to the floor and now my cock is leaking.

He suddenly vanishes and reappears on the table between my legs. I flinch at his unexpected action, but soon I'm doing more than flinching. He's lined up behind me. He lubes his cock quickly and slides himself inside. I'm so relaxed he has almost no resistance.

Once Cas is all the way in, he kisses me deeply. I wrap my legs around his waist and he thrusts so hard and deep. Our moans, sighs and the sound of his body slapping against mine echo throughout the bunker.

He grips me tight and we are suddenly on the long table in the library. I nip at Cas' ear. He laughs, "Three rooms down." He pants as he pulls out and I need him back in me. Now!

Cas decides to get me on my hands and knees. I arch my back as he pushes himself back inside me. He wraps his arms around my chest while humping my ass. "Oh fuck Cas!" My heart is pounding so fast. He reaches down and strokes my dripping wet cock. I hiss at how amazing all these sensations are. His kisses on my nape and shoulders give me chills all over. "I love you Cas."

He climbs off the table after backing away from me. I'm on my knees still on the table. He pulls me into his arms and kisses me. He pulls me off the table. His hips between my legs that I quickly wrap around his waist. I have my arms secured around his neck while our lips are busy along with our tongues.

Cas carries me to the kitchen. He lays back on the table and rests on his elbows. I straddle his hips, plant my feet on the table and line myself up with his length. I slowly sink down onto him. His head goes back and I love watching pleasure take over his body. "You like this my angel?"

Cas smiles bright. He loves being called my angel. "Yes. There's nothing better than your love." He looks me in the eyes. "If I had a soul, it would belong to you Dean."

I kiss Cas. My hand in his hair. "I'll be your soul Cas. Two bodies, one soul. Our soul."

Cas grips me to his chest. One hand in my hair and the other on my back. He whispers against my ear. "I'll be your angel and you'll be my soul. I love you my soul."

I move my hips and Cas gasps at the sensation. He moves his hands to my hips and thrusts fast up into me. My back is arched as my hands hit the table on either side of him. I keep my arms outstretched while he pounds into me. He's hitting my prostate just right. "Ohhh yes! Just like that!"

After a few moments, Cas suddenly stops and pulls out.

"What's wrong?" I'm concerned because Cas looks like he's in pain.

He grins while he's panting. "We still have several rooms left. So, I don't want to cum yet."

I kiss him and notice how much I'm sweating, while he's not sweating at all. I kiss his forehead. "Let's forget about the other rooms. We can just go back to bed and finish."

In the blink of an eye we are back in my bed. I'm still straddling his hips. I roll onto my back. Cas suddenly has the lube in his hand. He lubes himself again. He also lubes my cock. My eyes roll at the sudden pleasure his touch brings. My breath also hitches.

My hands reach out and touch Cas on the chest. "Make love to me my angel. Set our soul on fire."

He bends over me and his kiss is so intense. My legs wrap around his waist as he fills me up yet again. It doesn't take long for our passions to build back up.

Cas' eyes have that faint blue glow. His mouth is agape as he pants my name. "Dean. Oh Dean. I'm cumming!" I watch his body tense up as his thrusts falter and suddenly I see his wings for a brief moment as he grunts out his climax. He fills me up with his warm seed.

I find release immediately after. My back arches in ecstasy. "Cas! Oh Cas!" My orgasm is so intense my whole body spasms. I cover my torso with multiple splatters of cum. I reach up and pull Cas into my arms.

We roll onto our sides and stay wrapped in each other's embrace. He kisses my neck and jaw. Our lips come together and I feel so much love. I just let Cas love on me and let his love heal our wounded soul.

I fall asleep to his gentle kisses and feather soft caresses. I wake up and he's still holding me and watching me sleep. "How long was I out?"

He grins and brushes his lips over my forehead. "A couple hours. We should get back."

I nod in agreement. Cas uses his powers to clean and dress us. He makes sure everything in the bunker is as it was before we got there. He hands me a bottle of water and a protein bar. I smile. "Thanks." He kisses my temple as I down the water. I love how my angel loves me.


	3. Finding Our Family

**CASTIEL**

We return to the house in Washington and Kelly is almost ashes. I tell Sam and Dean I'm going to check on Jack and go inside the house.

Moments later I return outside to report that Jack's missing.

"WHAT?" Both brothers respond simultaneously. We go searching for the nephilim. Suddenly there's a bright flash and Jack is standing in front of me carrying Mary in his arms.

"SAM! DEAN! COME QUICK!!"

Jack hands Mary's unconscious body over to me before passing out and falling to the ground.

Sam quickly takes Mary from my arms and his brother helps Sam with trying to care for their mother.

I rush to care for Jack. I kneel beside him and pull his head up into my arms. "Jack. Wake up." He starts to blink some. I use my powers to flash a bottle of water to my hand. I open it and try giving him some. "Jack, drink some water." He sips on it. "That's good Jack." I brush his hair back.

Jack looks at me with his golden eyes. "Father. I went and got Sam's mother from the other place. He needed his mother like I need you."

I nod. "Shhh. You did good Jack. You need to get some food and rest." I place my fingers on his forehead in an attempt to heal him.

He takes my wrist into his hand and presses his lips against my knuckles. "I'm fine father. Just tired."

I open my hand and pat his cheek. "Can you walk?" I can't help but lean down and kiss his forehead. I'm still worried that he's hurt.

He smiles. "Yes father. I promise I'm okay"

I help him stand. I can't seem to get use to Jack thinking of me as his father. Dean explained to me that Jack needs a father figure and I am the closest person he has that can fulfill that purpose.

Once inside the house, I have Jack sit at the kitchen table. I pull out some beef that Sam already chopped up. I bring it to room temperature and set it in front of Jack along with a cup of water.

Sam and Dean join me in the kitchen. Dean tells me about Mary. "She's unconscious, but breathing okay. She has several cuts and bruises."

I place my hand on Jack's shoulder. "I'll go check on her once I have Jack settled in. I'm not sure how he was able to go get Mary."

Jack smiles. His teeth still bloody from the raw beef. "I found a way in. Lucifer was there." Jack grabs my hand. "I don't like him. He tried forcing me to bring him back." He looks up at me. "I know he's my real father, but he's a bad creature." Jack shakes his head. He grips my arm so hard there will be a mark. He looks me in the eye. "You're my father. You're full of good and teach me right. You love human people." Jack starts crying. "Lucifer hates human people. He hates so much. I don't want to hate father."

I pull Jack into my arms. "I will never ask you to hate anyone. Not even someone who hates you. Hate is a bad thing." I comfort Jack and I suddenly feel as if he's truly my own child. I fear for his safety. Hearing that he was anywhere near Lucifer upsets me greatly. "I'll be your father Jack, if that's what you need." My hand touches the back of his head as his tears subside. "You must promise me you'll never go back to the other world again without me. Lucifer wants to steal you away and fill your mind full of his truths. His truths are not the real truth."

Jack sits back and nods. "I understand father. His truth is that all humans are nothing but clay toys made by God to be destroyed." Jack looks so sad.

I have to ask, "What do you believe Jack?"

He looks up at me with golden eyes that are so sincere. "I'm half human. My mother was a good. She wasn't just a toy for Lucifer to destroy. Sam isn't either." He looks over at Sam who's standing with his brother by the doorway. "Lucifer was so cruel to Sam. I could never be like him." He looks back at me. "I want to be like you."

I smile. "You will be. You'll be better than me. You'll see." I pat his cheek and he smiles back.

Sam sits with Jack while Dean and I go upstairs and check on Mary. She's sleeping peacefully. I don't want to wake her, so I let her rest and head back downstairs.

Dean stops me on the stairs. "Will she be okay?"

The look of worry and fear on his face is something that always makes my chest hurt. I pull him into my arms. He holds me tight. His head on my shoulder. "Your mom has some minor cuts and bruises. She's exhausted. She's going to be just fine."

We return to the kitchen. I sit with Jack and watch him finish his food. When Jack finishes eating, I tell him about Sam and Dean's home in Kansas. He touches my forehead and suddenly the 4 of us are in the war room.

~~~~~~~~~~

**DEAN**

"Cas! What the hell?!" I look at Sam, Jack and then Cas with shock. Then I'm really worried. "Mom!"

Sam touches my arm and runs to mom's room and comes back. "She's sleeping just fine."

I look at Jack. "Baby! Where's my Baby?!"

Jack laughs. His laugh is so dark and sinister. It's not meant to be, but that's just how it sounds. "She's in the garage silly."

I run to the garage and she's there. Not only that, but she's beautiful. Show room polish shine. Inside, the leather seats are like new. What has me smiling are the unique changes that make her mine are still there. The toy soldier, her carved dash and all. I sigh with relief and kiss her roof. I hear Jack laugh again. I turn and give him a smirk. "Thanks for cleaning her up."

He smiles, blushes, looks down and buries his head in Cas' chest. It's kind of cute.

They go back inside. I follow. I see Jack place his hand on Sam's chest and Sam faints. I run to my brother and yell at Jack, "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Jack is scared. Cas is protecting him. Jack answers, "I-I fixed him. H-h-he was sick."

Jack walks up to me. I back away, but Cas shakes his head giving me a look telling me to just wait. I wait as Jack touches my head. In a vision, I see Sam clutching his stomach and not eating. Fast forward and he's taking chemo. He's throwing up. Fast forward again and Sam's in the hospital. I push Jack's hand from my head. "Okay. I get it. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Sam wakes up. "Dean? What happened?" He looks tired.

I help him up. "Have you been having stomach trouble lately?"

Sam leans heavily on my shoulder and then the door frame. "Yeah. I guess. Why?"

I rub his arm. "Jack just cured you from something serious. He touched my head and showed me. You would've been terminally ill on chemo therapy." It was my turn to bury my head against a family member I couldn't live without.

Sam hugs me proper. "You're stuck with me jerk."

All I could say was, "Good." I let him go. "Can you walk ok?"

Mom is suddenly standing next to Cas. "What's going on?"

I rush into her arms. "Mom."

Sam moves from the doorway and wraps his arms around mom and me. "So happy you're back mom."

Jack was about to touch Mary when Cas grabbed his hand. "Wait."

We back away from our family hug. "How do you feel mom?"

She rubs her shoulder. "I hurt. Lucifer knocked me around and tried torturing me. I met some amazing people. I'll tell you about it later."

Jack looks at Cas. "Now father?"

Cas nods.

Jack reaches out and touches Mary. She almost passes out. I'm right there to hold her up. Jack touches my head and shows me how Lucifer threw her and separated her shoulder and threw out her knee. He also cracked her rib. A man resembling Benny set her shoulder back into place. He bandaged her.

Jack removed his fingers from my head. "That was Benny. He's a hunter there. He never became a vampire as the Benny you remember did."

I want to get mad, but can't. I'm mostly hurt.

Mom feels much better. She's grateful to Jack for healing her.

Everyone heads toward the kitchen. There's already a chicken dinner ready for us. Again, Jack knows our thoughts. Sam, mom and I sit down and eat.

Cas takes Jack to his new bedroom and settles him in.

Things won't ever be the same again. We all can agree on this.

Tonight, we will all drink a bottle of Craig whiskey in honor of Crowley and his mother Rowena. Cas was gracious enough to hunt a bottle down for us.

"Do you think Hell knows the King is dead?" I ask as I down my second shot.

Cas shakes his head. "As soon as they realize he's dead, the demons will be fighting for power. We will see more demon possessions."

Sam raises his shot glass, "To the demons staying in the dark as long as possible." We all raise our shot glasses and drink to this.

I raise my shot glass, "To Lucifer staying lost in neverland forever." We all raise our shot glasses and drink to this.

Mom raises her shot glass, "To the death of the American chapter of the British Men of Letters!" We all say "Yes!" Then raise our shot glasses and drink to this.

Cas raises his empty shot glass, "To my father. An empty glass for a thousand empty lives. Brothers I've destroyed that he won't bring back, but he always, always brings me back."

I reach out to touch him. "Cas. Come on..."

He looks at me with pain in his eyes and he vanishes. The empty shot glass tumbles onto the table with a tinker.

We all head to our rooms. Sam catches me in the hallway, "can we talk?"

I nod and we head to Sam's room. I sit on his bed and he sits beside me. He offers me some comforting words. "Cas will be back soon. He's Jack's dad now. He won't leave him. I also believe Cas loves you very much. Cas could never leave you Dean."

I shake my head. "He's left me before."

Sam surprises me with his sudden embrace. It's what I needed. I wrap my arms around him. He reassures me, "It's different now. Cas has been looking at you differently. He truly loves you and I think it scares him."

We sit back and he rubs my shoulder. It's strange because I'm usually comforting him. "Remember that in his world, it's forbidden for him to be with a human. He's still struggling with what he did when he became God and killed all the angels that refused him. Along with what Metatron did with his grace that killed so many angels. Cas has human emotions and he's having a really hard time dealing with them. Now, all of a sudden, he's a father. He felt what fatherhood was like when he tried to nurture Claire, but Jack is different. If Cas messes this up, the whole world could suffer or be destroyed."

I sigh. "Yeah. You're right. I just wish he'd let me in. Let me do more for him."

Sam grins, "Like what? Pray to Chuck? We do that. Help with Jack? Doing that too."

I get frustrated. Sam doesn't understand how I feel. I'm in love with this neurotic, spontaneous angel that doesn't listen to me half the time.

"I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. Maybe he just flew out for some fresh air. It's whatever." I get up and go take my shower.

The hot shower helped. I feel better. More relaxed. I shut the door and turn toward my bed. Cas is laying there in nothing but his boxers and a grin.

"Cas? Fuck. Where did you go!" I rush into his arms. My towel falling from my hips as I climb onto the bed. I lay on top of him and kiss him. The kiss is long and building. My hand grips his bangs tilting his head back so I can delve my tongue deeper. He grips my bare ass with both hands and digs his fingers in. My hardness presses against his.

I finally come up for air and Cas grips my jaw. His eyes are so sincere. "I'm so confused about everything around me except you. I've never once doubted my love for you. My need to protect you, be there for you and die if necessary. I'd die as many times as it takes to keep you safe. I've never felt like this about anyone except my creator. My father."

Cas seems so sad. "You miss Chuck. Don't you? He hasn't abandoned you or us. You know that right?"

He looks away from me.

"Cas, you know that right?" I sound a bit desperate for him to believe me.

Cas suddenly sits up, pushing me aside. "No. I believe Chuck is busy with other things. It's like he's got me set on auto reset and everytime I die, I just pop back up again. I don't even get the joy of his touch or seeing his face. I'm just expected to be the faithful soldier and do what I am created to do. I shouldn't complain too much, I've got you." He softly presses his lips against my neck and sends chills all over my body. I hold him to me trying to keep my breath and heart rate steady. "He's an absentee father and it's wearing on me Dean. I know I'm not a child, but I'm his creation. I need his love and affirmation. I need to hear him say if he's proud of me or thinks I'm a fuck up." He swallows hard. "With how many times I've died and been remade, I feel like a major fuck up."

I nod. "My dad was very good at being both absent and making me feel like a fuck up." I hold his hand to my face. "Look and see my thoughts and memories about John Winchester. How he instructed me to take care of Sammy and when I failed, as a child, what happened. How he regarded me as a waste of space when Sam went to college and blamed me for Sammy abandoning us. How I never could live up to his standards." A tear escaped my eye as Cas saw my thoughts and memories.

He presses his forehead to mine. "Maybe this is why we were meant to be together?"

I slide under the covers and Cas crawls under the covers with me. He rests his head on my chest and I feel so warm and complete. "For the record. I know you're the bravest angel ever." I run my hand over his hair. "I wish Chuck would bring some of your amazing brothers and sisters back. Gabriel, Hannah and Balthazar just to name a few. They had flaws, but they were just starting to see what humanity has to offer." Cas is silently crying. "I'm sorry Cas. I'm so sorry. You miss your family. I'm so stupid sometimes."

Cas looks up at me. "You're not stupid. You're amazing. I miss my angel family, but I have you, Sam and Mary. You're my family too. I also have my son Jack. That scares me more than anything. You know he's not sleeping. He's like me. He doesn't sleep."

I'm concerned. "If he's not sleeping, what is he doing?"

"He's learning. He has access to the universe and he's learning."

I shift us so we're on our sides facing each other. "Jack needs guidance Cas. He can't just make assumptions about how things are in the world. You have to teach him."

Cas seems confused. "How am I to teach him when I'm still learning."

I grin. "I'll teach you both." I get up out of bed and start getting dressed.

Cas is confused. "What are you doing?"

"Let's go see Jack and have a history lesson." I smile at my angel as he instantly has clothes on.

He wraps his arms around me. "I love you my soul."

I kiss him softly. "I love you my angel."


End file.
